sad

some dusks when the trees are wearing the autumn skies like an auburn wig and the house's heartbeat slows down,
there is sadness;
almost, but never quite cleaved from mood lability.

in my psychic striation there is

fear
anger
irritability
tiredness
sadness and grief
...all layered over the current of Deepheart (c)

So when sadness grips the back of my head with one hand and my throat with the other
it is not calamitous; more of a heavy slow pull towards home.

when you spend so many hours a day high-lining between fear and tiredness, it is almost a relief to land there ~
seeing that the layers are relatively real but ultimately not-separate from Deepheart (c),
and that which is aware of Deepheart:
Ramana's I:I

~

still, in the end tonite, after seeing a friend's sufferings and my own
fierce shortcomings trying to shovel maudlin relief their way, none of that matters.

I'm just....
sad.